Be Prepared

Here's a primer for everyone still in the womb: Make sure that, whenever you come out, cross check all your references about your parents. Of course, you want them to be caring and hopefully make enough money to feed you and have a nice support system around you. Some of this information you might be able to gleam from listening in on their lives through the echoes.

My point: you can't pick your parents, but just be prepared for anything.

Cuz I wasn't.

The scene: Our Toyota Prius. Driving up to Novato to visit Gram and Grampa. We're somewhere near San Rafael. Mom and Dad are going through the FM dial. Neither is happy with the results. So Mom whips out her ipod and begins scrolling for something.

Anything.

The right thing.

And alas. She found it.

Now, through my nine months in the womb and my almost three weeks on this planet, I've deducted that my parents are pretty cool. Sure, they make mistakes like wiping my poop on my body, but they're funny mistakes. I like my parents.

And then, they sang:

What I needed was someone to show me
You know you can't fool me
I've been loving you too long
It started so easy
You want to carry on

And then, the chorus, at their highest octaves:

Lost in love and I don't know much
Was I thinking about
Fell out of touch
But I'm back on my feet
Eager to be what you wanted

And then, at the highest level ever recorded by humans and fire engines, one more time:

Lost in love and I don't know much
Was I thinking about
Fell out of touch
But I'm back on my feet
Eager to be what you wanted

When I got back home, I checked in with the local authorities and got a definitive answer: Yes, I'm stuck with them.

Good thing I find their dorkiness to be kinda endearing.