Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Flirting with Auntie Pua

The best thing about being my age is that when I do something devious, it's excused that I'm not doing anything devious because I'm so innocent. And I gotta say, I know how that works and I use it to my advantage.

Case in point: Auntie Pua. She's my Aunt, but not really my aunt. So it's fair game.

Tonight, she came over our house wearing a dress. Now, considering that I kinda have a thing for my Auntie Pua, I wanted to impress her. So I was showing her how I can use the table to hold me up as I walk around it. And I did it. Actually, I strutted around just to show off a little more. Anyways, I got to her feet and fell to the ground. And when I got up, my head was looking up her dress.

Accidental? Innocent? Lucky?

Hey, I'm just a child.


Monday, June 29, 2009


I spend so much time with my cousin Petra that I feel that it's actually worth it to me to know how to say her name. The problem is that he name has two syllables, and right now, I can barely get through one.

So whenever I see a photo of her, I just say "Puh".

She gets it. I get it. Everyone gets it.

I do know that when I do get to second syllables, "Tra" will be the first one I conquer.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

More Swimming

Mommy takes me to swimming class and Grandpa's been there to see me. But Daddy's never seen me do my thing in the water. So today we went to our friend McKell and Kris' house, and jumped into their pool.

And Daddy go to see me do my thing.

He held my hands as I kicked my feet. He caught me as I jumped into the pool. He put me on his shoulders as we jumped around the pool. And he threw me up into the air and caught me.

All in all, a great day in the water.

But then again, when is it isn't?

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Three Things I Like

I like strawberries and blueberries. They are both very sweet. I like it when Mommy and Daddy cut them up into small pieces and they put it on the tray in front of me and I put it into my hand and then place it in my mouth and then chew it and eventually swallow it. I also like it when they don't make the trip into my mouth and it falls to my seat. And I like how the strawberries turn my hands and fingers red.

And I like how Daddy feeds them to me before the tofu, so it's like I'm having dessert before dinner.

You know what else I like? Wilco.

Mommy and Daddy went to Berkeley tonight to see them play in concert. The reason I'm bringing this up is that, much like strawberries and blueberries, I also like them. Daddy plays their music loud and I kinda dig them. I bop my head to their music. And one of their songs, "Walken", is on Mommy and Daddy's wedding CD that they play all the time in the car.

So yeah. Those are three things that I like, which makes things interesting around here.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Nights on Main

Tonight was a great night. Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa and I went to Tiburon, where every Friday night they have a big street party on Main. All the stores and restaurants moved outdoors and there's plenty of pizza to eat and drinks to drink.

And that's where we met up with Gram, Grampa, Uncle Shannon, Auntie Nessa, Karen, Joe and, of course, Petra.

Petra and I played on the folding chairs. We ate some pizza (or, at least, I had some dough). We kissed each other on the cheek. She hugged me. And everyone looked at us and said how cute we looked.

It was like we took our own show on tour for a new audience.


Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Penguin with Grandpa

Grandpa and Mommy took me back to swim class. He got to see me go underwater and kick my feet and jump into the water like a penguin. It was awesome, really awesome. Usually it's just Mommy there and telling everyone about my exploits. But now here's someone else to verify everything. It's as if I am Michael Phelps and Mommy is NBA and Grandpa is like Bob Costas or Cris Collinsworth.

Or maybe Tiki Barber.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Bench

Grandpa took me to visit Grandma's bench. I like to go there with Mommy and Daddy, but it's extra special when I go there with Grandpa, just because they spent so much time together and I feel even closer to her by being close to him.

And with me just being eight months old, I've got the whole rest of my life to learn about her.

Which makes Grandma's bench more than just a place to swing and slide and feed the ducks. It's also a place for Grandpa to tell me amazing stories.

I'm listening, Grandpa. Tell me one.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Grandpa Granda Grandpa Grandpa Grandpa!

Today Grandpa arrived again from New York. This time, I'm much bigger and more coordinated and I can do more stuff. Like crawl. And play with my toys. And make some noises. And I can scratch your eyes out if you're not looking.

I've heard rumors that Grandpa has been working out to keep up with me.

He doesn't know the tornado that's about to hit him.

Welcome back, Grandpa. On your mark, get set....

Monday, June 22, 2009

Get There

I'm a simple man with great aspirations. I've gone from crawling Commando style to getting there conventionally and then using a turbo boost. But that's all child's play (pun intended).

What I really want to do is walk.

To get there, we'll have to take baby steps (again, pun intended). So Mommy or Daddy holds my hands as I lift myself up to my feet and then, one foot after the other, I begin to make my way. Right now, I can do six steps or so. Tomorrow, maybe ten. The day after, eighteen. And soon after that, no hands.

And from walking, I can then move on to running. And then, hopping. And then, flying. (Don't tell me I can't do that).

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

Today is Father's Day, which is when I'm supposed to pay tribute to Daddy, Grandpa and Grampa. And although I have no money to my name to get him something and I don't have the hand-eye coordination to make him something, Mommy and I have been working on something special.

And when he saw me this morning, I gave it to him.


He liked it.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Jackie's Party

Today we went to my girlfriend Jackie's house in Alameda for her first birthday party. She's got an amazing sandbox that I got to play in and we also splashed each other. It was flirting at its most subtle and cutest. We both got game.

NOTE: You might be wondering why I have so many girlfriends. Well, I don't feel that I should settle down with one chick when I'm so young and have so much to offer. So right now I'm just playing the field, seeing what's out there, surveying the land if you will and then rolling with it. That's how I do.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Petra's Party

Petra had her official birthday party today, and one of the attractions that Auntie Nessa and Uncle Shannon got for her was an amazing blowup house that you can jump around in. It was awesome. I saw Petra get in there, jump, fall down, laugh and then get back up again. All her friends did it. It was awesome.

But here's the problem: I'm too small to do any of that. I'm not coordinated enough to stand up on my own and I'm small enough that I might be trampled.

So all I want for my second birthday party is one of those blowup houses. That'll be a cool checkpoint to see how much I'll have grown by then.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Appetite For Destruction

Mommy took me to the Discovery Museum again today. But this time, I was with my two girlfriends Reese and Olive. So yeah, you bet this was a prime opportunity to impress them.

But hot studs don't have to try to impress. They just impress. And I am a hot stud.

Case in point: We were playing around near some rocker guy who was watching his own kid. He pointed me out and said, "Yo! Nice shirt!" referring to my vintage Guns N'Roses Appetite For Destruction album cover onesie that my Daddy bought for me.

Reese and Olive saw it happen. It was noted. They were impressed.

That's how I roll.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Next Time, Ry

I had the opportunity tonight to hang out with my friend Ryan while Mommy and Daddy visited his parents. I haven't spent much time with him, and I really cherished the chance to get to know him.

So I was excited. I had plans of crawling around with him and maybe both of us using his cofee table as a drum set. This was gonna be good.

Mommy drove by Daddy's office to pick him up, but truth be told, it was getting kinda late. I'm usually getting ready for bed by seven, and it was 6:45. Then it took forever to drive from one side of San Francisco to the other. And then it took awhile to find parking. And by the time I was taken out of the car seat and walked to the house and let in, well, I was just 13% awake.

Oh well.

At least I didn't feel as bad, considering that Ryan was just 0% awake.

Next time, dude.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


Thia might not sound like the manliest thing ever, but I really like it when Daddy blows air on my back and on my stomach.

It gives me the giggles.

There. I've said it. And I'm standing by it.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Another Phelpsian Achievement

I went to another swim class today. I learned how to dive into the water. We call it "The Penguin". It's very fancy and I am now a professional at it.

And, most importantly, I also learned how to hold my breath and put my head underwater. Okay, you have to blow in my face first to get me to do that, but still, I'm eight months old. That's pretty impressive.

Take that, Phelps. Where you at?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Solidifying My Laugh

After months of trial and error, I've come to an important decision:

My official laugh will be three giggles, a loud inhale, five or six giggles, another loud inhale, three giggles, yet another loud inhale and a shreak.

Please adjust your anticpiation levels accordingly.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Advanced Bathing

Mommy and Daddy usually give me a bath in the kitchen sink. I sit in the basin, and they fill it up with water, and they give me a rubber duckie and I get all clean. It works for all of us, even though pulling on the faucet seems really appetizing (even though I'm not allowed to).

But I've gotten too big, which means I've become a big boy. And big boys bathe in the bathtub. Ba-Bam!

What does this entail? Well, they fill up a tub with water and bubbles. I sit down on some sort of mat. They give me a rubber duckie. So it's like the kitchen sink, except I can now move freely around. If I want to face Mommy and Daddy, I can. If I want to face the soapdish, well that's my prerogative. It's all about how I want to roll.

If I want to pee in the tub, I can. And nobody will know.

And I have.


Friday, June 12, 2009


Mommy dropped me off at Auntie Pua's place while she ran some chores, and that was a great opportunity for us to spend some quality time together. So she took me to Moscone Park and placed me in the swings.

I went back and forth, back and forth, and Auntie Pua pushed me.

I didn't cry. In fact, I put my brave face on. And occasionally, I threw her a smile. Yep, I was playing it cool, even when I swung so high that I had to soil my diaper just so I wouldn't sweat it. She can't see me sweat.

It's all a part of gradual flirting process with her.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A New Trick

I'm really getting used to my new crawling method. I'm breaking the speed limit whenever I get a head start. And I'm learning to make noises.

See, I used to sound like Mommy and Daddy's Prius, which means I was silent when I crawled. But that's no fun. And since the "rummmmmmrummmm" sound that other people's car makes is kinda advanced for me, I've decided to perfect something new: the crawl and fart.

Sure, you might snicker at the sound. I get that. And that smile might turn into a frown when the sound becomes a smell. I get that too. But if you think you can keep up with me now, wait until that that turbo boost I get from the propulsion of gas coming out of my booty.

You'll be left in my dust. Or digested yogurt extract.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


As many of you know, I'm a huge fan of standing up. But what goes up must come down, and falling down hasn't been easy.

But what I learned today is that my booty is meant for more than squeezing, pooping and shaking. It's also meant for cushioning.

So as long as I stick out my bum and let gravity take its course, I can go from standing up to crawling speed in record time.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Secret Plan

I learned something today: Mommy and Daddy don't like to wake up early.

I mean, they don't mind waking up to pick me up and bring me to bed with them. But that's about as far as their dedication goes. I'm expected to go to sleep between them and wake up at a respectable hour, like say 6:30.

But what if I want to wake up and stay up at 5:15?

Well, Mommy and Daddy barricade me between their bodies and put Noggin on the TV. So I get to watch the telly all by myself for an entire hour while they continue to sleep.

How cool is that?

Now if I only knew how to work the remote, I'd might be able to watch something a little more substantial. You know, like ESPN. Or the NFL Network. Or the NBA channel. Or MLB TV.

Monday, June 08, 2009


Before I was even born, Auntie Sue and Uncle Mike bought a monkey bean bag for me. For months, it's been sitting in my room, right next to my crib, and it's been as hard as a rock. But every so often, Daddy will sit on it, and before you know it, the bean bag became soft.

And, today, he brought it into the living room.

With my new crawling technique down, I'm able to get anywhere I need to at rapid speeds. And suddenly, this bean bag is now in my play domain, and, you know, I gotta check it out. Make sure it's a friend. Give it the okay to even be here.

So I crawled to it, grabbed onto the monkey ears, pulled myself up, stared at the monkey eye to eye and stared it down.

Then I fell down.

And then I pulled myself up again.

And then I fell down.

And then I pulled myself up again and realized how much fun this is. I mean, it's soft, it squishes, it's big enough to present a challenge...so I looked at the monkey eye to eye one last time and said, "Monkey, you can stay. You are my friend."

And that's how the monkey made it to my living room.

In case you asked.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Another Uncle Jack Connection

Today was Uncle Jack's party, so we all went to Gram and Grampa's house to celebrate. I got to spend some more time with Uncle Jack. We were both wearing newsboy caps. I had mine on because I look really cute in it. He was wearing his because I think he actually has a route around here when he visits.

Or so I'd like to believe.

Mommy and Daddy brought me in the hot tub, and I got to swim with my big cousins Dylan and Tanner. It was fun. What made it even more fun was that Gram bought me a green swimmy thing that keeps me afloat. So Mommy and Daddy have their hands free, which means they can tickle me in the hot tub. And, just as important, that makes me independent.

Or so I'd like to believe.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

My Eight Month Birthday

Today I turned eight months old.

That's two-thirds of a year.

That gets me within striking distance of being a toddler.

So suck on that, newborns.

Friday, June 05, 2009

A Farewell to a Friend

My good friend Beckett is moving from San Francisco to Grandpa's hometown of New York. So although I will see him again, I won't have the chance to see him whenever I want. And that makes me sad. Because he's a year older than me and he's all been there, done that.

So Beckett, until we're both old enough to write letters or type e-mails or have Facebook accounts or to follow each other on Twitter, I'm just gonna have to learn from you whenever I see you, like three times a year or so. Until then, keep everything you're doing in your head and remember to tell me everything, mostly because I look up to you and refer to you for guidance.

Because I'll be listening.

Also, in New York, when you point with your middle finger, it's okay. People there do that all the time.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

No Mo Commando

I've become very adept at crawling recently. But I feel like my form could use some work. I mean, if I were to join the Marines, I'd be able to sneak anywhere undetected, even a desert. But it takes a toll on my tummy, always scraping on the floor wherever my arms and legs take me.

So, with the help of late-night bench presses with a Beanie Baby, I've gotten my arms a little stronger, and my abs are now six-pack tight, and I've gone from Commando to Conquerer of the Pushup Position.

Which means that, when Mommy and Daddy are on all fours, we're all the same speed.

Advantage: Me.

Especially when I hit my Turbo button.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Lil Michael Phelps

Today I had my first swim lesson. Now, I've got loads of experience in hot tubs spanning from Novato to Tahoe. But this is the big time. I mean, it's like four feet deep!

Mommy got dressed up in her bathing suit and jumped into the pool with me. I had my trunks on with my swimming diaper and all my muscles pumping. I learned how to kick my feet and to extend my arms.

I'm not saying that Michael Phelps' 14 gold medals are in jeopardy.

But I do wonder where he was at eight months old.

Playing Ball with Gabby

One of the nice things about Tahoe is that we're surrounded my forests, which means that Gabby the black lab can run around wherever she wants. So I had the opportunity today to play ball with Gabby.

However, here's the thing: I don't have much of a throwing arm. In fact, all I can really do is roll the ball. But I look all around me and see all this space and I think that, when I do learn how to throw a ball, how much fun it's gonna be.

Until then, Gabby drops a ball at my feet, I pick it up, Mommy takes it away and wipes the slobber off of it and also off my hands and then gives it back to me and I roll it back to Gabby. And repeat.

Fun now, yes, but wait until I'm able to really let it go.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

The Play Area

Mommy came home today with a new big gift for me, but for once, it's not a toy.

Instead, it's a place for me to play with toys.

Mommy and Daddy cleared out the dining room area (which, I'm told, was once the office) and laid down some soft interlocking tiles on the floor. When they were done, it made a huge square filled with different colors. And then, they put my toys on top of them. So I now have a comfortable place for me to play with my toys, fall down, crawl around on and, well, it's my spot. This is where I do what I do.


I can't wait to chew up every inch of it.

Monday, June 01, 2009

The Picture Book

Grampa bought me a picture book. I love it. It's got one hundred pictures in there, and he points to each one and tells me what it is. There's a photo of a penguin, socks, doggy, smile, lamp, chickens, rubber duckie, boots, computer, TV, broccoli, ducks, cow, horsie, keys, clock and a motorcycle that I've been informed that I'll never be allowed to ride.

Grampa asks me to kiss the other babies that are in the book, and I do it. I place a big fat wet one right on their cheeks.

Even on the ugly ones.