Saturday, February 28, 2009

A New Outlook

I've recently developed the ability to turn over from my back onto my side and then onto my stomach. To be honest, this is something I've really been looking forward to doing. A fashion magnate like myself can't keep styling anymore with a bald patch on the back of my head.

So I'm on my tummy now.

There's some benefits to it. When I sleep on my tummy, I turn my head to my side, so it kinda feels like Mommy is touching my cheek. And when I kick my legs, it feel like I'm swimming. And I get to practice doing my push-ups.

The dreams are kinda the same, although, for some reason, I'm dreaming more about the weird Mr. Chan than I am about Sophie the giraffe. But that's cool. (I asked around, and seriously, that's cool).

Here's the only downfall: because I'm laying down directly onto my diaper, my body presses against my own pee.

But what can you do. Nobody's perfect.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Breaking Out the Suit Again

Tonight was my Great Uncle Mike's 50th birthday, and we threw a huge party for him upstairs in his apartment. Mommy, Gram, Grampa, Uncle Shannon and Aunt Vanessa got the food and decoration together, while Daddy kept me entertained.

And, when it was time to make my grand entrance, I did.

I was sporting my white shirt with gold stripes. My brown vest. My beige tie tucked underneath.

Yep. The Suit.

But this time I decided to make a statement and went a little casual.

I was all business up top, with jeans on the bottom. And the shirt tails hanging out.

Because that's how I roll nowadays. You might think I'm all serious, but it's really all about the party.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Rice Cereal

So I figured out what the deal is with the high chair.

For the past 143 days, I've either been drinking from a boob or from a bottle. And it's gone down smooth. Nothing like the taste of breast milk to set a child regular.

But today was different.

Mommy mixed her breast milk with something called rice cereal. It was somewhat thicker than a liquid. Then, she put it into a spoon, and as I sat in the high chair, she stuffed the spoon in my mouth.

And you know what? It didn't suck.

I ate the entire bowl, although half of it wound up on my bib and cheeks. And a quarter more could have been found in the fold between my double chins.

But if that's the price you have to pay for experimentation, then slather me with jello.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

High Up

I have very strong abdominals. That is, I'm able to sit up somewhat, especially when my arms are placed in front of me. Within seconds, I'm falling either to my right or my left, but seriously, I'm not even five months old. Give me a break. That's some impressive stuff there.

Anyways, Mommy and Daddy assembled a high chair for me. (Actually, to set the record straight, Daddy assembled the high chair while Mommy laughed at his ineptitude and naughty words). Then, they lifted me up, dropped me in and strapped me up. It was kinda cool, I gotta say.

Then they wheeled me over to the dinner table, where, for the first time, the three of us sat as a family unit.

That was amazing.

When I'm old enough to drink some wine with them, then it's gonna be off the hizzy.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Jet Lagging

I don't understand this thing they call jet lag.

Why is it that, when I wake up, it's like really early. And it's way too early when I go to sleep?

Can someone explain this to me?

Yesterday, in New York, I had it down pat.

Today, in San Francisco, mass confusion.

Is it the clocks? Are the clocks wrong? Or are the sun and moon playing tricks on me? And why? This makes no sense.

Maybe this is just a grown-up thing.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Hard Flight Back

Mommy, Daddy and I finally flew back to San Francisco from New York. As usual, Daddy booked us a flight on JetBlue just so I can watch college basketball for six hours (at least that's what he tells me). However, we sat on the plane for a good hour before we took off, and then when we finally took air, it was rough.

Mommy was upset and scared.

Daddy put up a brave front.

Although I felt their trepidation and understood their concern, I gotta admit: Yep, that was a small and barely noticeable smile appear on the right side of my mouth.

Where do I get in line again?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Hanging with Braiden

Daddy, Mommy and Grandpa drove me out to Long Island for the very first time today. I don't know why I'm announcing it as a badge of honor or achievement, but whatevs. The main story is that I got to meet my cousin Braiden, who is eleven months old.

We had a really great staring contest.

But here's the great part of the day: We got to watch an old video of Daddy, Uncle Mike, Aunt Danielle and Tracy making believe they were a rock band from the 80s. It was goofy but endearing.

I guess that's what you do when you're like ten years old.

And it made me do some thinking: Braiden, we don't have to decide anything right now, but to be honest, I think I'm a frontman. How does lead guitar sound for you?

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Babysat by the Sives

Throughout this tough week, the only true shining light was that I was babysat by Aunt Sue's mommy and daddy, Al and Linda. And also by Aunt Sue and Uncle Mike's next door neighbors Steve and Lisa. They're just amazing people with limitless patience.

And Linda uncovered a new hold that I really dig.

Here's how it goes: I sit on your forearm, with my back resting against your belly. Your other hand is pressing against my stomach.

And that's it.

It works great when I've got gas, which recently has been all the time. It quiets me down, and I get to see out at the world.

If you ask me, it's good stuff, real good stuff, and you should learn it and love it.

That's how I roll nowadays.

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Follow-Up

Mommy and Daddy took me to see their cousin Ron, who is a pediatrician, for my follow-up for my Bronchiolitis issue.

And what happened?

Bronchiolitis bye-bye.

That means a clean bill of health, yo.

In fact, I was the healthiest baby he'd seen that day (being the first baby he'd seen that day was besides the point).

He even did a trick to see if my hips are all lined up, and you know what? They're all lined up.

The best part of the appointment, however, was when Ron left a box of liquid formula for them to take but they didn't know whether to take one or two bottles or the whole enchilada. They actually debated it. I thought it was hilarious.

They left the box and just took two bottles.

If it were up to me? Probably would have done the same thing. I'm raised from good stock.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Nebulizer

We're winding up my nebulizer treatment, so I should take this time to tell you about it.

The nebulizer is a mask that Mommy or Daddy puts on over my face. They sit behind me and hold me while I suck in all the fresh air with the steroids. It lasts somewhere between five and ten minutes, depending on how still I can sit.

Yeah, it's medicine that I'm forced to take, but there's an upside to it.

To help me sit still, Mommy or Daddy allow me to watch anything I want.

That means I don't have to watch Mommy's home improvement shows.

Or Daddy's eighth straight viewing of "SportsCenter".

In fact, when I'm using the nebulizer and I'm in control of the telly, it's all about the Barnyardigans. And Noggin. And Diego.

As if you'd think I didn't know about them.

C'mon. We're prepped about important stuff like that in the womb.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Antibiotics Suck

I overheard Mommy saying something to the effect that whenever she takes antibiotics, her stomach goes haywire, and then a cousin agreed with her.


I've been dropping bombs non-stop. And, although they've been the silent type, and although they can ruin any nose, they hurt. Really hurt. I have to crunch up my legs and really force them out.

And then there's the poops. They've been brown or green. What? They've been mostly liquid and somewhat solid. I've been filling up a diaper like it's nobody's business.

And those moans and groans you hear coming from me? They're real, folks. I'm in discomfort.

Let me say this now and let me say this loud: Antibiotics suck. Absolutely suck. I know they're gonna make me feel better later, but is it worth feeling like crap right now?

Because, right now, I feel brown or green.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My First Suit Will Always Be My Best Suit

Today was a big day. Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Uncle Mike and Aunt Sue invited all of their family to a restaurant for a big lunch. All the women were wearing dark dresses, and all the men were dressed in suits.

Including me.

Except mine was the best suit ever.

If I were on a runway, this is how I would be introduced: "This is Wyatt, a strapping young lad wearing a three piece suit purchased from S&B in the Staten Island Mall. He's sporting a brown blazer on top of a dashing brown vest over a white shirt with beige stripes and a golden clip-on tie. His matching brown pants are creased perfectly down the leg, and he's topping the whole ensemble off with black socks. Let's give it up for Wyatt, everyone. Wyatt!"

But although I looked darned good, this was more important: When Grandpa saw me for the first time, his eyes went from sad and inconsolable to happy and proud.

And that is, ladies and gentlemen, why this is the best suit ever.

Monday, February 16, 2009



That's what my New York doctor told me that I got.

It involves me coughing, not being able to sleep, running a slight fever and being generally grumpy. And considering how cheery I usually am, Mommy and Daddy could sense that something's wrong.

And with everything going on around me, taking me to the doctor was the last thing they needed. But they did it.

So now, as part of my medicine, I've got to take something called antibiotics and then suck face with something called a nebulizer.

Supposedly there's steroids in it.

Maybe this'll get me even more buff.

Sunday, February 15, 2009


I spent an entire day today by Uncle Mike and Aunt Sue's house while they went out with Daddy, Mommy and Grandpa. And that meant I got to spend a ton of time with my cousins Nicky and Ava Rose.

I don't know how to state this any more clearer than this: they are amazing.

Ava Rose was so sweet. She made sure that I had my bottle whenever I needed it (and whenever I didn't). She gently rubbed my head to get me to sleep. And she liked to hold me in her arms, even though she weighs just eight pounds heavier than me.

And Nicky? He sang me an original song about me driving a wedding bus that I crashed into Walgreen's while singing my ABCs. Seriously. That's the song he sang about me. And whenever I had to have my diaper changed, there he was, helping with a handful of wipes. And even when my poop was big, he never left my side.

Why was all this important? Because after a couple of days of cheering everyone up, I needed some cheering up. I'm not feeling so good.

And they did a great job.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Someone Newer Than Me

Today, I got the opportunity to hang out with my little cousin Ellianna from Ohio. She's also here in New York to visit Grandpa.

Anyways, that was the first time I could say that: my little cousin.

She was born a month after me.

And she's tiny. Really tiny. Then again, I'm a big boy.

Still, it feels good not to be the lowest Indian on the changing table.

We got to hang out on the floor, right next to each other. I rolled over just to watch her. She's like how I was last month, so by watching her, I got to see the big strides I've made. Anyways, I don't know if she senses that things aren't all right around here, so whenever she cried, I just reached over and touched her hand with mine. That's my way of letting her know that I got her back.

That's my cuz. That's why.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Cheer Up, Everyone

I've had a bunch of cousins walk in and out of the house here in New York. They all come in and hug Grandpa, and then Mommy and Daddy. And then they get to me.

They're still sad, but they brighten up a little when they meet the newest addition to their family.

So, to properly introduce myself, I blow bubbles at them.

I smile as big as I can.

I make noises like "Gooo!" or "Geng!" or "Ooooh!"

And I kick my legs like I'm Michael Phelps.

And you know what happens? Suddenly, everyone's looking at me and laughing at me and nobody's all that sad anymore.

I think I know what I have to do around here.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Cheer Up, Grandpa

Things are differnt here in New York. Grandpa is so sad. He's trying his best to be a great Grandpa for me, and he's doing a great job of it, but he's struggling.

I need to make things easier for him.

Okay, Grandpa, I've got an idea.

I'm gonna make a fuss. Look at me, everyone! I'm crying! Waaaaa! I just ate, that can't be it! Waaaa! I don't have gas! Waaaaa! I just woke up so I'm not tired.




Daddy, you can't make me stop crying.

Mommy, you can't make me stop crying.

Grandpa, it's your turn. Put me on your shoulder. Yeah, that's it. Great. Pat your free hand on my back. Yes, you got it. Just like that. Great.

Now hear anything? No? That's because I stopped crying.

And feel that slight little tug on your shoulder? Well, that's me, hugging you back.

I'm here for you, Grandpa. Cheer up.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I Don't Understand

Right now, Mommy, Daddy and I are on a plane heading to New York.

They're both very sad. I can sense it.

I'm sitting between them, but I might as well be a million miles away.

I don't understand why, but I do know that I need to do something about this.

Daddy, look at me. Yeah, you. Right in the eyes. Got me? Good. Okay, I'm gonna stick my tongue out at you. You do now. Good, Daddy. Good.

Now I'm gonna say, "Ggkgkgkshhhhh!" and I want you to repeat it back to me. Go ahead. Do it. Say it.


Okay, now I'm gonna bend my knees so I go up and down on your legs as you hold me. I'm gonna do that six times. And I'm gonna flap my arms wildly. And now, I'm gonna give you the biggest smile I can give someone.

Wait. Is that? Could it be?

Daddy, are you...smiling?


Cheer up, Daddy. We'll get through this.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Go Ahead, Jump

Mommy and Daddy bought me the best thing ever. It's a plastic seat attached to a long spring that brackets above a doorway. So when I sit on it, I get to jump around in one place.

Don't get me wrong. I can spin around. I can do a 360 if I want to. But the real thing here is that I can jump up and down, over and over again. My feet barely touch the ground when up they go again. I feel like a kangaroo, if I were Australian and if kangaroos were the cutest thing around.

And let me tell you, this is fun. You know, when I get excited about things, I flap my arms and kick my legs. And yes, this gets me excited. And that's the great part. When I kick my legs, that means I'm just jumping again.

So my excitement is fueling my jumping experience.

It's the best kind of battery power.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Four Month Doctor Appointment

Here's the stats I rang up during my four month doctor appointment:

In the 97th percentile for weight. BAM! So the odds say that I can knock you down.

In the 98th percentile for height. BAM! So the odds say that I can see right over you.

Add it up and suck on that, Danny DeVito.

Of course, I'm just in the 50th percentile for head diameter. So I'm not some sort of sick freak.

Suck on that, Charlie Brown.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Got a Grip

I'm learning new things about my body every day. Sometimes, these realizations are small and unnoticeable to other people.

And sometimes, they're huge.

Like today.

Check this out. My fingers, the ones attached to my hand, I bent them down towards my palm and squeezed my toy. Then, when I raised my arm, my hand followed and so did the toy.

It was amazing.

Later on, I was able to move my hand towards something, place my fingers on it, squeeze and lift it up.

Even more amazing.

The ability to do this opens up many doors for me.

Watch out world. One day, I'm gonna throw you.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Love Bug

I got my Valentine's Day gift in the mail today from Grandma and Grandpa.

It's a pair of pajamas that says "Lovebug" on it.

I don't know what a lovebug is, but I do know what Grandma and Grandpa think of me, and if they think I'm their lovebug, then how cool is that?


Lovebug Lovebug Lovebug.


That's me.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Not Me

Mommy took me to her Mom's Group where they did the normal things a Mom Group does but I'm not legally able to talk about on a public forum. At some point of the proceedings that took place in an area of commerce, Mommy needed to go to the bathroom. Being that I was attached to her via the Baby Bjorn, I had to go with her.

It was interesting.

We entered a stall and closed the door. Mommy squatted. I squatted too, I guess. I mean, I was facing the front door and wasn't really sure about what was happening. All I knew was that my legs were being bent on Mommy's thighs. So I did what any red-blooded child would do.



Soon, Mommy finished her business, stood up, got herself together and we walked out of the stall - and into a crowd of onlookers, wondering what the heck was going on in there.

Mommy laughed it off.

Me? I'm just an innocent bystander.

Thursday, February 05, 2009


I've got a great smile. Sometimes, when someone entertains me, I'll smile big enough where you can see my gums. And then, my dimple will summon its majesty and charm the diapers off anyone who sees it.

It works great. And I can pull it off for anyone at anytime.

But I've been meaning to figure out a new way to applaud and admire those who take their entertaining of me to new heights. You know, take my game to a new level for those who take their game to a new level.

And I've done it with something simple.

When someone (usually Daddy because he's funny) does something that really truly entertains me, I smile. But with that smile comes a noise. It begins from my stomach, distilled at my throat, rattles around the roof of my mouth and pops out of my lips. It sounds like a hiccup, yes, but it's joyous. Whimsical. Bubbly. And I put a series of them together to make a laugh.

I think it's a winner.

It's the least I could do.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Roll Over State

Today I learned how to roll over from my back onto my side and then my stomach.*

It was very well received. **

* - Okay, I'm gonna be honest here. I really just learned how to grip onto something and pull myself over to my side, and then have one of my cheering fans then nudge me onto my stomach, at which point I don't appreciate how my arms are stuck underneath me, and then that person pulls my arms out and puts them in front of me to steady me while I look up and say, "Okay, what now?" as everyone claps.

** - I honestly have no idea what the big deal was. I mean, truly, why is everyone lauding me for adhering to gravity and momentum? Isn't that what everyone else does? Seriously, why should I get special preferences for something that seems easy? It kinda belittles the instance when I truly do something fantastic. It cheapens it. That's what I'm saying.

Although it was pretty flipping cool.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Standing Up To Be Counted

One thing that I've enjoyed doing recently is standing up. Here's how I go about it in a simple eight part process that's much easier to do than it looks:

1. I make everyone know that I'm tired of sitting down. Usually, I just begin whining.
2. I wait for someone to grab both of my wrists.
3. I dig my heels into the ground.
4. I tighten my stomach.
5. I straighten my legs.
6. I lift my tush off the ground and stand.
7. I smile.
8. Balance.

After that happens, these things occur:

1. Everyone looks at me and laughs (or, in some cases, applauds).
2. I'm complimented on how strong I am (and, in most cases, how cute I am)
3. Everyone wants me to do it again.

And we repeat.

All in all, not a shabby way to spend a couple of hours.

Wait until I start charging money for this.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Team Effort

I had such a nice time with Mommy and Daddy tonight. I stuck my tongue out at them, yelled "Ggkgkgkshhhhh!" and giggled the whole time. It was great. I cherish those moments. They're amazing.

Until I felt a disturbance in my pooper.

That's when my face turned red and I began to cry. I hate this. Why can't it just plop out? Why do I have to work for it?

But this time, I was not alone. Mommy and Daddy held my hands and yelled "Push it, Wyatt! Push it!" And I pushed harder and harder, and they kept cheering me on, encouraging me. "Harder! Harder!" And my face turned even redder and I cried louder and pushed and pushed and Mommy and Daddy kissed me and raised their energy levels and kept me positive and I pushed and pushed, harder and harder.

This went on for three long minutes. And then, when I thought I gave it everything I had, eureka. I was finally able to smile. And Mommy and Daddy cheered and told me how proud they were of me.

And then they smelled what I delivered.

Oh, so now it's not fun and games anymore, Mommy and Daddy? Now we're taking a different air on things? You knew what you were getting. Don't kid yourselves. You know how these things work. You asked for it and you got it.

Please clean me.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Super Bowl

Mommy and Daddy took me to a Super Bowl party. This is an event where people get together, eat food, watch large men in full pads hit each other and watch commercials. It's a yearly ritual. Daddy called it Man Day.

I got to meet more friends for the first time. Beatrice was there. Ryan was there. So was Ada and Owen and Tyler and Declan and Chase. New friends. Good times.

It was at this party where I learned a disturbing truth that I probably wasn't supposed to hear. Seems that one year ago, at last year's Super Bowl, Daddy's team won. They were named champions. It was a surprise. He cried. Mommy taped Daddy crying and put it on the internet. It was intense. It had a happy ending.

Some time later, there was another happy ending. I was conceived.

So, although this is a day where men celebrate what it means to be a man, it's got some added importance for me. I just don't know what to call it. Happy Anniversary? Happy Conception? Happy Touchdown?

I'm taking suggestions.