Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Grampa's Dirty Mind

While at Gram and Grampa's house, I decided it was time to spread my love around. So when Gram was changing my diaper, it was a perfect opportunity to do what I do best: pee directly up in the air and try to aim at whatever's around. This time, I hit Gram right in her glasses. Yes, I'm that good.

Anyways, Grampa saw this and yelled something so strange that it took everyone for a loop. He said, and I quote, "You gave Gram a Golden Shower!" Mommy then yelled "Gross!" at him, and Gram hit him in the arm.

But what is this "Golden Shower" that Grampa speaks of?

So, when nobody was looking, I got on Google. (What, you think someone six weeks old doesn't know how to surf the web?) I took a guess at how to spell "Golden Shower". And then this came up as a selection.

Grampa, we need to have a chat.

First off, I'm still an infant. Although slime like this might exist in the world, I don't need to know that it does. Allow me the freedom of living in a world where something like that could never happen from one human to another unless that person was really asking for it and you couldn't get caught doing it.

Secondly, this was my Gram I was peeing on. It's a rite of passage, a sign of love. I can't figure out how you would tarnish the sanctity of that bonding experience.

Third, how the hell did you know what a "Golden Shower" was to begin with?

And fourth, I think I might need to hang out with you a little more often.

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