Whenever I begin to cry and start kicking my legs, it's my way of telling Mommy and Daddy that I've got gas. So they'll sit me down, lean me forward, pat my back and wait for me to burp. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.
Daddy will then take the next step of throwing me over his shoulder and patting my back. That rarely works, but I like how it feels.
So, when everything fails, and I'm still kicking and screaming, they'll then drop a couple doses of something called Mylicon into my mouth.
Let me tell you about Mylicon: It smells and tastes like bubble gum. It goes down real easy. It works immediately. And it's the most wonderful thing in the world. My eyes roll back. I kick my feet up in relaxation. I sprout wings and fly around. And if I were able at this early age to, you know, make it rise from 6 to 12 (if you know what I mean), Mylicon would be the thing that would allow that to happen.
So, the next time you see me kicking and screaming, ask yourself: is he gassy or is he looking for a quick fix?
Holy crap. Just typing about it gets me...you know...wow.
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