New Trick

New trick today: I raise both my arms over my head.

It’s as if I don’t care.

Or maybe I’m just raising the roof.

Either way, everyone claps when I do that. These adults are so easily amused.

Petting Gabby

Gram and Grampa have a great dog named Gabby. She’s mad cool. She likes to come on hikes with us and she’s always checking me out, making sure I’m okay.

She shows me a lot of love. I want to show her some love in return. Grampa showed me how.

The deal is that I flatten my hand out, extend it towards Gabby and then I run my hand back and forth along her fur. It’s called petting. Gabby likes that. Me? I’m not too crazy about it, mostly because when I put my hand in my mouth, it tastes like the outside.

But I love Gabby, and that’s how she accepts my love.

But I will not sniff her butt. That’s where my affection ends.

Apple Sauce

One of the new adult foods I’ve been eating is apple sauce. Mommy makes it herself. And it’s my new thing.

I love it.

I like how sweet it is and how it’s not a solid but it’s not a liquid. It’s somewhere in between. And I like how it feels on my gums. And I like how when I’m done with my bowl, I want more and Mommy gives me some.

And I like how proud Mommy and Daddy are with how much I’ve eaten.

I dream about it too. I dream that everything I put in my mouth tastes like apple sauce. I dream that Mommy’s boobie feeds me apple sauce too. That’s how my imagination works. I’ve got a one-track mind like that.

Apple Sauce Apple Sauce Apple Sauce Apple Sauce Apple Sauce Apple Sauce.

Great Tuesdays

Daddy and Grandpa have developed a routine that I love. On Tuesdays, Mommy plays with me and then she goes to work., leaving me with Daddy. Then Daddy puts me in my high chair and prepares my meal.

He also calls up Grandpa back in New York, and suddenly he appears on Daddy’s laptop.

Then he begins to sing Grandma’s song to me: “I saw a little birdie going hophophop. I told that little birdie ‘Won’t you stopstopstop?’ I opened up my window to say ‘How do you do?’ And they all spread their wings and away they flew. Far, far, far away they flew. Far, far, far away they flew. And they all came back again.”

He sings that to me over and over again and I love it.

I love it so much that I don’t even realize that Daddy’s been feeding me the whole time.

And when I’m done with my food, Grandpa tells me how much he loves me and then they shut the computer off because Daddy needs to go to work and now Gram’s there to take care of me.

So, on Tuesdays, I get Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Grandma’s song and the Gram.

What a great day Tuesdays are.

Sitting Up

I don’t like to do nothing. I don’t like to be in the status quo. I don’t like progressing.

That’s why, when you see me attempting to do some sit-ups, what I’m actually doing is trying to physically sit up. I think I need to get my stomach muscles stronger in order to do that. Daddy calls it “my core”. Daddy stops needing to be so technical.

One of these days, I’m gonna sit right up. And everyone’s gonna look at me, smile and clap.

And once that’s done, it’s on to working on something new.

In the Snow with Petra

Today, Petra and I played in the snow. And by playing in the snow, I really mean that I sat in the snow and tried to figure out why this white stuff is wet and cold, while Petra picked up the snow and ran it through her fingers.

I know, not really any exciting stuff here.

But I don’t care. Because even though it was cold and wet outside and we really didn’t get the concept of this snow thing. I still got a chance to spend some time with my big cousin,

How great is that?

Sledding in Tahoe

Last night, we drove up to North Lake Tahoe so we can take a family vacation at Uncle Shannon’s cabin. He was there with Auntie Nessa and Petra, and Gram and Grampa came along too. I’d never been in snow like this, and I loved how bright it was when the sun hit it.

Me likey bright things.

In the afternoon, we all went to this big hill and slid down them on these plastic mats. Mommy called them sleds. I rode down with her, and let me say what great fun this was. She held me, and as we went down the hill, we felt every bump and we picked up some speed and I felt the wind in my face and at the end, I laughed but I was disappointed because I wanted to go again.

The bright side? Now I’ve got something else to dream about.

Razor Sharp

I just learned recently that there’s these razor sharp white bones called teeth that are slowly making their way to freedom. And their only path is through my gums.
Slowly and painfully, here they come.

It’s worst at night, when all I’m doing is sleeping. During the day, I’m entertained by Mommy and Daddy and my jumper and my Exersaucer, so I just don’t think about it. But at night, all I’m doing is dreaming about hitching a ride on my mobile, and the pain is all I feel.

So Mommy gives me some Tylenol and some organic teething drops and, to be honest, it does the trick. She’s good like that. She has a knack for making me feel better.

You know, until next time.

All I gotta say is that solid food better be worth it. And I’ve heard good things about chocolate.

Li’l Overachiever

Daddy calls me his little overachiever. And now I know why.

One week ago, I entered my fifth month on this planet.

Today, I entered a pair of jeans made for a nine-month old.

So I’m styling at level four months ahead of my time.

Suck on that, Tim Gunn.

The Ghost Whale

I now have this amazing ability to immediately turn onto my stomach when I fall asleep. It’s cool. Mommy and Daddy put me to bed on my back, and then, I instantly turn over and sleep with my cheek flat on the mat.

I can also move around some, although it’s usually in a circle. What do you want from me? I can’t crawl yet.

Anyways, I’m on my stomach, moving around, and suddenly I hear “Woooo! Wooooooooo!”

I’m like, “What the f*@$ is that?”

I’ve heard rumors about these things they call ghosts, but I’ve never seen one, but that’s what they sound like, so…

Seriously, “What the f*@$ is that?”

Evidently, Mommy and Daddy thought the same thing, although it was only Daddy who was brave enough to come in.

And guess what? No ghosts. The “Wooooo!” sound was actually my fault.

See, I moved so much during the night that I wormed my way to the corner, where my leg accidentally hit the “whale” button on my sleep sounds doll.

My bad, Mommy and Daddy. An honest mistake.

I’m sure I had something to do with that floating linen too.

The Exersaucer

Mommy and Daddy bought me this cool contraption called an Exersaucer. It requires me standing in the middle of this open circle that’s actually a tray, and on the tray are all these toys ranging from “super cool” to “eh”. Some of them make noise. Some of them are nice to touch. All of them have cool colors. And none of them taste good when I put them in my mouth.

I dig it.

I think Mommy and Daddy put me in there when they’re tired of holding me and need a place to put me while they do their chores.

I’m cool with that, although maybe I should make them busier.

Hot Tubbin'

With Uncle Shannon and Auntie Nessa away on vacation, Daddy and Mommy took me to their amazing house in Tiburon. I love this house. It’s got an amazing view.

And you know what else it has? Something called a hot tub.

A hot tub is basically my bath, except there’s no rubber duckies or soap bubbles. Okay, there’s bubbles, but it doesn’t come from soap. They come from these jets that scared me the first time they went on but gradually became cooler as my time in the tub went on.

I learned how to splash. And I took my first swimming class. I am Michael Phelps (Michael Phelps in the pool, not Michael Phelps in a frat house).

And I also learned that my diapers are super absorbant.

And that nobody knows I peed.

My New Friend Eventually

I spent today hanging with the unborn fetus of Uncle Will and Aunt Kristine. He or she pops out in two months, and then, its go time. I have so much to teach it. We’re gonna play and have fun and be just as close as friends as Daddy and Uncle Will are, even though Daddy’s been telling me that I’m gonna have nine months of boxing lessons on it, and I better have a sharp jab ready for our first round of sparring.

He’s silly.

I already have a sharp jab.

Grandma's Bench

Today is Daddy’s birthday. Like I said, we really weren’t in a celebratory mode, but Mommy, the birthday boy and I took a ride down to Mountain Lake Park, near where Daddy used to live in the Inner Richmond. It’s a great part, full of grass, basketball courts, a children’s playground and a lake full of ducks.

And it’s also got something else now: Grandma’s Bench.

Mommy bought a lease on a bench that overlooks that lake, and it’s in honor of my Grandma. So now, whenever we want, we can come down here and spend some time with her. And while we’re here, we can feed the ducks and go on the swings and later, school dad in hoops. Going to Grandma’s Bench will always be a fun time, just like she was always a fun time.

This is the best thing I own.

5 Months Old

I turned five months today.

Usually, my birthday is a pretty big deal around here. But we’re keeping this one low-key. Tomorrow is Daddy’s birthday, and he deserves his day. But beyond that, we’re not really in a celebratory mode right now. And that’s okay. Next month, I turn six months, which is a half-year, and then it’s on.

Oh, it’s so on.

Still, I dig my birthdays, mostly because they result in the best boob this month. I mean, it’s not every day you can taste a hint of Hostess Cupcake in breast milk.

Sweet Potatoes

So I'm digging the rice cereal that Mommy's been feeding me. Tonight, however, she thrusted a new flavor at me, something orange called sweet potatoes.

It tastez alright. I overheard Mommy saying something like it's an acquired taste and that my stomach's gotta get used to it and I can see that, I guess.

But that's not what bothers me. Look, I know I'm a kid with limited control of his arms and hands. I know I'm not the neatest dude on the planet. But with the rice cereal, I can hide my mess because it's white, and it doesn't stain my onesie. But I just can't hide from the sweet potatoes. When I get it all over me, it's all over me.

I look like a clown caught in the rain.

My New Routine

Mommy disappears on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, only to return about three naps later. When she's gone, Gram comes in to watch me and play with me. We always have a blast.

But I guess it's a long ride from Gram and Grampa's house to my house. I've been there a whole bunch of times, but I usually pass out about three minutes into the ride. So I'm just assuming it's a long ride.

That being said, Mommy and Daddy decided that it would be nice if they drove me up to Gram and Grampa's house on Wednesday, and I'd spend the night and Thursday there until Mommy picks me up.

It's like going on a one day vacation every week, away from the hustle and bustle of all my toys.

And the best part? They always prepare a welcoming and loving place for me to relax.

I love my grandparents.

I'm Not Easy

Every morning, Daddy leaves. And about four naps later, he returns. This happens five days in a row, and then for two days, I get my claws into him for an entire day.

That's just how it goes. I don't agree with it, but them's the breaks.

Anyway, when he comes home late at night, he's so happy to see Mommy and me. Mommy's face instantly lights up and she gives him a hug and a kiss.

But me? It takes a while.

It's not that I don't love Daddy. I do. But I like to hold back for a couple of seconds before I react. Why? Well, I just want him to think that I'm accepting him with my love, that I'm actually deliberating it. If I just smiled immediately, then he'll think I'd do that for anyone.

And Daddy isn't just anyone.

The Ten Ouncer

I'm a growing boy. And judging by the stares of disbelief by doctors and parents, I guess I'm much larger than I should. Daddy calls me his Big Overachiever. I like where he's coming from.

Anyways, I've been rocking the six ounce Born Free bottle for my formula. And it's worked okay. But now, with me fitting in nine month clothes at just five months old, six ounces just ain't gonna cut it.

So Mommy bought me a ten ouncer.

This thing rocks.

First off, I can get all filled up at just one sitting. I gotta tell you, it really sucks when I down six ounces and have to wait for Mommy or Daddy to refill the bottle. That takes like two minutes, which might not seem like much time for you, but that's a nice chunk out of my life. It's torture. I want to eat. It's like someone giving you the surf while holding back the turf.

That's not cool.

So thanks, Mommy, for bringing ten ounces of happiness to me every night.

A Kaliedoscope of Poop

Before anyone asks, I truly have no idea what the color of my poop is gonna be before it comes out of my bum.

It's not like I'm some sort of tortured artist who is making some sort of statement. Or that I swallowed a box of Crayolas and getting rid of them one by one. And it's not like the Vegas bookies have an inside tip of what color I'm producing and are making a killing off of it.

It just comes out, and it might be green. Or it might be brown, orange or black. I have no idea and I have no preference, really.

I just have that power.

Fear me.